Look just a bit behind the set of teeth, the naked lady is on the beach!!

Travelling by kayak involves a lot of changing from one outfit to another. Usually, I have a dry set of clothes on land and a wetsuit when paddling on the water. This means that I have to be ready to change outfits anywhere. Since it is unlikely to find changing rooms or toilets in sight, I will stand in my naked backside in towns, parking lots, along roads and public beaches…everywhere,for the whole world to see…

Oh noooo, it’s so embarrassing!!  On a wet skin nothing goes on easily, clothes are always inside out and because I want to dress fast, I put my shirt on the other way around. I am quite conscious of my body shape. I just know that everyone will see me and have an opinion about my body. Off course I have a six pack! But it is well hidden underneath some other layers of body tissue.

I can sympathise with people who change their clothes underneath a towel but I have not enough room in my kayak to carry a towel that size. On the other hand, the towel thing is such a hassle, I can guarantee everyone will be watching. Looking for the moment the towel drops at the most inconvenient time. That will stir up some laughs.

My husband is always angrily commenting: ‘Stop acting ridiculous, nobody’s watching’. But then again, every time I have to change my clothes, even when it is in the middle of a forest and haven’t seen anyone for an hour, on the most awkward moment, someone passes with a dog, trying not to look.

Once I had an entire Tiree tourist boat passing by while I was changing into my wetsuit, never saw them coming. Arriving on the island of Tiree I heard I had quite a reputation for being ‘The naked lady on the beach’. That is too much of a coincidence, I think I attract it. Just think about all those holiday pictures the people on the boat made of me and my naked ass.


During the years I got a bit fed up with being so stressed out about it every time. Was my husband right? Is nobody watching? Is it all in my head, the negative thoughts, the panic? So I tried to relax a bit more and change quickly and efficiently without the stress, and just mind my own business instead. I must say, I felt a lot better.

Today when we arrived at Inver Tote on Skye there were a lot of people visiting the derelict dynamite factory and the beautiful waterfall. Not all tourists came down to see the factory close up and were using binoculars. Coming out of the sea, naturally, I had to change into my land outfit. So I did, without even thinking about all the tourists. Only realising it when I heard a lot of whistling and cheering.

This only enforces my reputation of ‘The naked lady on the beach’ and I am proud of it! I have come a long way. Nowadays I am happy to make somebody’s day when I change my clothes.

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  1. chrisosborneadventures on 27th December 2017 at 10:36

    I found this so funny the other night as I’ve been caught out more than once but had trouble with the like button. Merry Christmas

    • All Exclusive Cruises on 5th January 2018 at 20:51

      Hi Chris, thank you for your comment. I’m glad you recognise these awkward moments, I’m not the only one. I wish you all the best in 2018. I see you have some nice adventures to look forward to!

      • chrisosborneadventures on 5th January 2018 at 22:02

        No problem. something funny or embarrassing all ways makes for a good story. Yes lots of adventures to come in 2018 but flat out getting my house ready for sale first so don’t expect too much until about February March. Happy New Year and look forward to seeing more of your adventures in 2018 also.

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