During the school year, I feel the first signs of lunacy coming up at the end of January. I feel this itchy feeling of not having enough time, then there is that nagging pain in my head after bumping my head against all kinds of rules, regulations, and deadlines I’m not aware of, papers getting lost and being dependent on people who have a totally different view on priority than me. Ending up with computers saying NO, resulting in the ugly cries just before the summer holidays.
How do you cure that kind of lunacy?
Go to Loch Maree.
To be more precise, go to Loch Maree, get yourself, a boat, some rope, someone you trust and paddle to Isle Maree (Eilean Maolruibhe). The waters of the loch are thought to have curative effects, and being towed around the island behind a boat is believed to be an excellent cure against lunacy according to the sources….
So, last summer, we went, Alexander and I paddled out on Isle Maree with the kayaks. Alex always carries some sturdy rope. I mean, what is a man without a rope and/or knife, right? So the towing around the island should not give any problem. As we were paddling to our destination I thought, are there any rules on clothing when being towed behind the boat. Should I be butt-naked or wear a long white dress, will a wetsuit do? The water is quite cold… Is there an optimum time for the towing operation? Midnight seems to be the best. Perhaps full moon? WikiPedia was not forthcoming with that kind of information. How will I know I'm doing it right? Lunacy is creeping up again, I'm desperate for the cure. I think I have to make my own decision about clothing and time.
And when there is no noticeable change in the lunacy situation I might do as queen Victoria in 1877 and hammer a coin into the oak tree. I just buy it off. Can't miss the right tree, it is covered with coins. All hammered in in the cracks of the tree, all interestingly colored from brownish to vibrant turquoise. Where would Victoria's be? Probably already taken out and in a museum on display. But that is the pessimistic me talking. Still got some lunacy to get rid of. When I think of an oak tree I think of a big majestic tree with huge big branches, not this pathetic little thing lying dead on the ground. I think tourism and superstition killed the tree. Although copper poisoning is more likely.
Lunacy and depression still haunts me. I must try the pagan way and go to the healing well situated near the wish tree. But WikiPedia was not clear on which ceremony to perform either. The only information that I got was that I had to sacrifice a bull. Now, I'm a peaceful vegetarian. I can't go and sacrifice a bull. It doesn't fit my kayak!!!
I think the towing around the island still is the best option. Might even do two rounds and find myself a nice stone to take home with me as a token of the cured lunacy.
Oh, but wait….. there's a snag….Wikipedia says that ‘Nothing can leave the island otherwise the lunacy will return’. OMG!!, there is no escaping!!!! AAAHHHHHH!!!!